realisation

I have a recurring tendency to use the word "realisation" quite frequently, bearing the meaning of acquiring certain information with the appearance of being closer to the truth. I now use it as a title bearing the meaning of ideas living in my head having materialized in the world around me. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am writing this, sitting in a blue-walled room: my study.

Whilst dwelling on stuff people have dreamt up coming true, I like to bear in mind the theory of the universe being the Fulfiller* of wishes; and the extremely humorous approach it takes to our humanly formulation of them. I'll admit that things never take form in the way I imagine them to, but where would be the fun in that? If I were to believe in a higher power, it would be this sentient universe with the best (if widely put) intentions in "mind".
While it is thoroughly charming, my honest take on this and other esoteric theories is similar to my take on God - with no personal evidence in support of or against them, I will choose to temporarily believe what I find makes the most sense to me as well as makes life most becoming to my eyes.

Though I daresay that I began this entry with the intention to voice the realisation (in my primary sense of the word) of my making the majority of my decisions overall based on doubt.
Doubt has two main functions in my psyche: one is completing a set of scars left from the crippling and not wholly eradicated insecurity belonging to me; the other is as a safety net, going hand in hand with indecisiveness and fear and not leading in any particularly useful direction.
I find that those two functions were much more convincing when my aforementioned wishes weren't so palpably coming true, so now I ask of my reasoning: WHO'SYERFUDGENQUEENNOW

*hint hint RICE BOY