Factory

I've gotten sick. Sniffle, cough, fever... all that jazz.
Very worth it, though. This night in the factory was, well, different. Some knew about this, most had absolutely no clue. Awareness is one thing. The endless night sky. Sitting on Rob's shoulders, Rob's feet on the iron ladder on the top roof, on the main roof, so high above the ground. Terrifying and exhilarating.
Letting things occur to you was a very fun part. I could become the music, briefly. Not that that took a lot of imagination, it was so loud anyone would have gotten confused. Karlīna was a flame goddess, playing with the stearin of the tea-candles - she was holding the candle in a way that I could only see the light escaping from between her fingers, and it poured over her bare arm. Later she said her white scarf was magic, keeping her from the cold. Perhaps a protection against all evil. I wasn't cold either, not until later.
Evita was herself, and that was very comforting, I now realise that it would be very hard for her to become someone else. Anete complimented the company with her presence, but I don't think she was aware of this. I don't know how much she would have wanted to be.

I now have an excuse to soothe my throat with ice cream. *pointedly blows nose*
.. not that I ever needed much of an excuse.

And so she finished her drink after all

One morning, everyone woke up feeling kinda good.
And looking forward to the day.
And everyone knew exactly how to solve all the problems that had appeared previously over the course of their lives. Unconditional love all over the place.
It somehow felt.. well, wrong. This sudden warmth and clarity surrounding everybody was simply not natural.
Although, as humans remain humans, the clarity was rather limited. Not one had the foggiest idea of what the cause of all this could be. So, they carried on as well as they could with this new-found peace, and instead the animals held a conference, their minds in a bubble of consciousness, an agreement of peace between them in this void.
The butterflies and dolphins thought that nothing needed to be found out, that all life was better off this way. The dogs agreed heartily, so did the tuna, and the monkeys concurred after a while. The seals remained indifferent, but the sloths thought it was an outrage. The armadillos couldn't decide, and the slugs kept getting distracted. The cats, great and small, held their silence, but everybody knew they were against the new order, most of them, anyway. It was too innocent for their taste. The jellyfish were silent as well, but no one knew what they thought, as no one does still. The snakes and spiders spoke amongst themselves, and were taking awfully long, but eventually a black widow crawled over to explain that they thought it was no use to participate in the larger discussion, as it was improbable that much could be changed.
More time passed, then, caving in to the impatience humming in the air, the horseshoe crabs decided to take action. They voiced their idea. Upon hearing it, a great squabble arose, the peace momentarily forgotten. Finally, the animals managed to find a calm of sorts - and took a vote. It was close, but it turned out in the favour of the crabs. So they sent an armadillo, (who wouldn't be biased) down to hell, to see where all the evils had gone. It got help from the underground beings, and got there within three days, but nonetheless suffered many a hardship on the way.
Hell. Fire. There, in a great, dark cave the Evils sat, their presence filling the air. Some were spinning, some smouldering, screeching, staring, wailing, laughing.. but most of them reminiscing in some way or another. The armadillo went up to them and asked them what they had done, and why. Silence. The armadillo, now taking in all the terrible power around it, started trembling. But it knew that no harm would come to it, as this was such a grave matter. That fact not one of the beings in the cave was ignorant of. It took a breath, raised it's voice, and asked again. Silence. At last, Famine stepped forwards. "Very well. You may receive your answer. We kill. We destroy. We do all imaginable and unimaginable things to those souls up there. Is it right? Is it wrong? We had been discussing this amongst ourselves for a few hundred years, but a number of us had had our doubts for far longer. We wanted difference, an answer, perspective, a pause. So we left. The younger ones persuaded the old to participate in this chance, this change, and see how it felt to leave things be. Feel guilt, if one had the capacity. Those who couldn't be persuaded otherwise regard this as an experiment, to see if the humans are capable of handling good in a much purer form. Not completely, mind you, we left a very few of us up there, as not to throw off the balance completely. Still, we wonder if this wasn't foolish, extraordinarily so. However, most of us refuse to return."
"Will you stay down here forever?" the armadillo asked.
"We don't know," Famine replied.
Suddenly, with a terrifying rumble, the ceiling of the cave was no more, and shining, shouting furiously, was the angel of justice - Raguel. His eyes blazed, and his presence was overwhelming to even the most ruthless of the bad that stood there.. You see, no one dared attack or even look him in the eye, because they knew they had disrupted what Raguel stood for. If you tear apart, in such a way, what a god, and angel or any other immortal being protects, you know you bow to them, and either flee or beg for mercy. Such were the rules of existence. The Evils were muted in their shame.
What the angel said to them the armadillo, upon returning, could not repeat, but he said it had something to do with the balance and harmony of the universe, and in each and every heart of the beings of earth, which were also the universe, and at this point the armadillo got a bit confused, doubled back and started muttering to itself, so the rest of the animal kingdom gave up trying to get to the bottom of it. The Evils were returning, and that was enough.
After another few days, most of humanity started getting reluctant to get out of bed again, started shouting at their kin, cradling their own swollen pride, stomping on the helpless and all the usual bullshit we all know we get up to. Balance was being restored.
The armadillo remembered one more thing, in the end. He said that before leaving, Raguel had mentioned the souls that needed to learn.. that they could not do it any other way, if they were to proceed  to something else in the afterlife, or next life, or whatever happens next. The armadillo did not know what that meant, but it was glad to have escaped such an ordeal without too much trouble, but it would rather not repeat it, even in it's mind, too disturbing.
So it tried to forget about it.

Simplicity

might be the way to go..

Far from worried minds 

trying, trying to throw 

away the free, the true, the green,

it's nothing you don't know.

Take me away.

Let's create a forest, a throne - 

to the smoke and the coughs and the rules I'll scream NO

Take my hand and follow me

because I trust you

implicitly.

Lovable people

(Jenny Luna and John Konesky - Crazy People)

 Miks showed us this yesterday, after me showing Inese the original.
What am I doing up at 08:00 (previously 07:00)
I have new shoes.

An ode to a maiden, far away

My fairest, bring me a drop from the salty sea, 

A taste which can be replaced by no other

Bring me the sea.

My dearest, give me a drop of your scarlet blood, 

A shade which can be confused with no other

Give me your blood.

My loved one, tell me your fears and your darkest terrors, 

A gasp that can be heard by no other

Tell me your fears.

My songbird, sing my ears paths through silent tremors, 

A note in a world where there is no other

Sing me your soul.

My goddess, rule me and my mind with unblemished beauty, 

A face and a heart, there is no other

Surrender, my love, to me. 

Nicholas was..

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.
The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tounge, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.
Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leaving one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen in time.
He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.
Ho.
Ho.
Ho."

This is one of the beautiful stories by Neil Gaiman, the mind of whom I would very much like to explore.
Thank you, Kat, for this immeasurable read.

inspired and determined.

Well, the book writing thing. I'm really gonna do it. It's already survived more than most of thew previous attempts, so, that's a good sign. Anyways - http://tellingstonesof.blogspot.com/ here. There are some old poems at the beginning, those can be disregarded. The writings start with "Introduction."
Yesterday was a lovely reunion with mom & Ali, back from three weeks in the US, and Max and Niko visited today. Lots of stories and gifties and everything. Other yesterday's reunions included a pint of beer, rain rain rain, some very good marzipan, and a couple of bicycles. Very nice day. And I got my book back. The one abut the autistic kid. And then, there was this big tree in a tiny park, when the rain was at it's worst..

Lost in Trance

I get these sudden moments of missing people I've had any brief, but personal connection with. The people I've selfishly wanted to "own" by sharing a moment of some sort of bond with him or her that no one else does. Do people do that a lot, or am I being more possessive than most are accustomed to be when it comes to friendship?
I still haven't gotten around to the mindset in which I'd say 'no' to immortality.
I know that it would last literally forever, and that I'd get weary and miserable, but I'd be able to change so much.. and the weariness wouldn't set in right away and unlimited time is of great value, even if it is relative..
Have you ever met someone that emanates an inexplicable wrongness? I encountered an old lady today, from a distance, looking out of a window, and her stare from the sunken gray patches surrounding her eyes (although I didn't quite see the eyes themselves) gave me the heebie jeebies.

I suspect that I mean something different every time I say "I don't wanna grow up."

Randomly spaced impressions.

Tea, tea, tea, tea, tea.

Back.

Hey. So, I'm back from the choir trip. 11 days.
Italy. Fucking hot. Fucking amazing. But I'm also fucking happy to be home.
Too much to put in here. Way too much. A couple words - Europa Cantat. Torino.
There will be photos. In a while. When I get them. I didn't bring a camera, you see, but I think that was a good thing. Yes. Definitely. I got to read a few.. heh, interesting things to pass the time on the bus.. a book shared by us four youngsters of the very back seats. :3
My notebook has been filling up quite rapidly during the long bus rides, though.
I'm also writing a book. Started as another little project. Let's see how this one does.
Joakim Arenius was our group teacher, so that was us - Atelier A15 - Burtnieks, and a youth choir from the south of italy, also some people from Germany, and, I think, France. Awesome.
A tiny glimpse of all the other awesome people who I got to meet -

(The Gospel, I thikn)

I love Venice. D'uh. But by night.