The situation is quite ridiculous, really, having come to the point where I lie in bed at 5am with the bedside light on, not daring to alternately close or open my eyes depending on which urban legend or fictional character my mind is entertaining.
Although I find comfort in the fact that I'm most certainly not alone with this problem, it just sort of underlines the incompetence of human nature.
I have relieved myself of most obligatory duties until the 9th of February, (the day on which I start massage courses, so I take it I'll have to be back on track), so that I may concentrate on my writing, my project, the better or worse parts of myself - whatever needs attention.
Hoping this will work as a boost of morale, not only because of the possible progress at the end of this "session", but also because I made a promise to myself. Whether that was a good or bad idea will be revealed as things take their course.
I have asked Rob and Gus to write rants about something, their reading of which I will later be able to film and montage into something deliberately acceptable. I shall contribute with my own rants/stories/fuck knows to this to add to the existing interviews, as well as asking more people to contribute. Maybe the boundaries of the project will finally take shape.
I hope the sob-fests will blow over soon. It would be a shame to accept failure as a part of me.
I do find it increasingly characteristic of myself to run my arguments in circles, coming to no comfortable conclusion. Oh, am I ever confused.
On a lighter note - the previously mentioned book, "The Hippopotamus" by Stephen Fry, I have found fabulously vulgar at first, and then things took a rather intricate path, making it into a curiously complicated combination. I was surprised at how much I found in common with the protagonist. Granted, only a few select trains of thought and perceptions of value, but it was amusing nonetheless.
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