Tuesday, April 3, 2012

what am I missing?

The flight of the dead.
The man in the distance.
Heat.
Sleep.
Compassion.
The ability to shine.
What I value most.
Hardship.
Genuine thought.
Child's play.
" and I thought you could be mature.. "
Structure.
Discipline.
An objective mind.
The will to let it all go.
The art of avoiding cliché's.
Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive.
Gaia.
Can I have a dilated soul?

<< the ramblings of yesterday night.
Funny, it still displays the original time in which I first saved it. Kind of nice, in a way.

..to choir or not to choir, that is the question. -.-
My USA grandma should be arriving shortly. Oh my. It's going to be a long week.

Family.

Yes, I'm finishing that friendship bracelet for my mother. My dad has one too, now, first one for him, but this is my mother's...3rd, I think. My father's birthday was the 31st of March, and my mother's was the 2nd of April.. heh. And yes, it does make it a bit easier. Ali (my lovely misspelling sister) agreed to sing that song that that mom and dad wrote a long time ago, so we spent our last moments before midnight thinking of harmonies, memorizing the words, and as a result we managed to get both our parents quite emotional. They really deserved a present of value. I guess it was. Oh, these family moments.. when it was just the four of us, all that time ago. Mom, dad, me & Ali.. Also, on my mother's arrival with the boys, I realized that I hadn't seen her and my dear brothers for 5 weeks and then some. How horrible of me. I missed the little monsters. And Dear God, Bastet, Mother Nature or whoever's in charge out there, stop me before I fill this whole place with nostalgia, that being, yes, you've never really left my side, have you.
I'm sick for the first time in ages, with a slightly painful throat and that ache that you only get in addition to a fever. Weird, but not altogether unpleasant. At least I remember. And lookyhere, now I have a reason for being so ..well, squiggly, in my writing. (You might get it , you might not, if you don't, never mind.)
Also, we are getting a dog. For the country house. A DOG. When I was a child, this was simply out of the realm of reality. Now my two youngest siblings seem to have persuaded dear ma to get.. *drumroll* Rosamunda! An english setter, she arrives tomorrow. I think it has yet to sink in, because otherwise I'd be very excited, to say the very least. An addition to the family, oh my. The kitties won't like it, though.
And you, you know, maybe I'll call you the 12 string rain dog for now. I quite like it, I have no idea if you do, but, well, it's not going to change for a while. So there.
And on a completely different note, I guess I just have to mention here, too, the Big Remaking of my room that occurred on Friday. The fact that I must may give you an insight of how often this happens, but let me tell you, dear, that this was no ordinary tidying. The things and trinkets that got moved around were of great importance, (In the Land of Rooms), and well, every time I give the order I have a good shake, I reorganize my mind as well. I even washed the floor.
Angel, ..  ... no, I don't know what to say. I just felt the need to mention you. Oh, and yes, your Clooney joke was of great use to me, thank you for that. c(:
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. (finally finished it, 3rd attempt, not because I didn't want to finish, but because of the unfortunate timing I chose to indulge.) Meant to resemble wet tweed, I heard? Damn good movie.
Ah.. the sickness is settling in.. so now, when I read, the words are spoken unnaturally softly in my mind. *shiver* I'll try to finish everything up and go to bed. Welcome, you dream of body, you numbness of mind. Sickness. (Sorry, Tom.)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Heeeey

..Ah. I'm now sitting in a cafe with my cousin and sister, both of them Alices.
I've spent the night in a house of loveliness and efficiency, where I was introduced to the series Sherlock and man I'm being boring. [Cousin Alise says it's true. ^^]
See, now I have to pay attention to them, the guilt-trippers. [Cousin Alise: Like it's a bad thing?!]
It's not, I'm just .. fine. I'll just mention that I had a wonderful night, and yesterday, - Zemes Stunda in the Theatre Bar, and well, I'll just do my rambling later. When I get home. ..which would be the first time since 18:20ish yesterday. Ba-bye.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Another day, another..-

Ah. Intimidating to get to know a new family, isn't it? And then I realized how relieved I was to finally become aware of another whole different group of people. As in - not an extension of your current friends, not a mind-set that eventually falls into typical patterns. This little circle or figures falls a bit out of the ones I've already gotten excited about/tired of. These kinds of acquaintances float up once in a while, usually unexpectedly, and they usually either pass in a phase or slowly get integrated into my current life. Honestly, I'm hoping for the second.
Also, Nemi turned out to be right on time. (Started reading on my way home already.) Tom, do remind me about the theory about baby doves. I'll remember about the questions.
Kat.. yeah.. See you soon, I guess.

Why the fuck were you laughing?

Four leaf clover guitar picks.

Crazy world, crazy world, ye-eh. 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Shit, that's a good one.

(Caro Emerald - "Back it up" acoustic)
Isn't it, though?

Also, I feel I'm being a fool. Again. ..and this is a phenomenon that's not recommended more than once.
But then again, I should really stop saying that.

The air was distinctly springy today. The sun was actually more than just warm, and the morning calm was periodically interrupted by a series of "eeeeennnngt"s, by which I mean the insistent whine of a roller. (Do bear in mind that I am continuously at a loss for the correct terms of various things in either english or latvian, so sometimes I just push one word over to the next language. I'm not alone in crimes like these, no judging.)


Bara för at få en kyss till. Du, din jävla- ..

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Spring Equinox

Today. 07:14. Everything's waking up.
Emī & I both decided to write down a wish with a drawn spring flower, and then throw it out the window at the lovely given time above. I must admit, I was a minute late, but my duty has been fulfilled nonetheless. Afterwards, I went promptly back to sleep.

I'm also re-reading Watership Down for .. the 4th time? I'm not sure, but it's been a while, and I'm enjoying it greatly. I keep remembering phrases and events that won't  appear for a few chapters and giggling about them. I also must give Wise Child another visit, since both of these books are sort of on the same page. *coughlamecoughpun*

And I've been pondering about a verbal, (well, typed), attack I received yesterday, through skype. There are two versions to believe:
1. I have been a greater fool than I ever thought myself to be and my trust in my friends and humanity has been more or less lost.
2. My friend, who administered this attack, is more spiteful/revengeful than I first assumed. I'm not sure what the exact cause of all this is (although I have my theories), but I do think that she would not do this without one. What, for her, qualifies as a just reason, I do not know.
Both are very saddening.

I'm also turning to the healthy part of the foodstuffs again, or I'm attempting to. And see, little details like this, in fact, this whole blog makes me feel like such an egoist at times. I mean, I'm writing about me, me, me. I could try to worm my way out by saying it's a place I gather my thoughts so other people don't have to deal with my ranting, but I enjoy writing here very much. Eh.

Also, I wrote this some time back - "I'm not used to sleeplessness any more. Damn shame, in a way. I'm losing my tolerance for fatigue." Let me tell you, that beautiful week in Madona has taken care of this very thoroughly. Eheh.


(Also, do forgive me if I happen to repeat myself. Not much I can do about it.)

Monday, March 19, 2012

Ohgodwhyyy

There's this path, this little pavement walkway I walk nearly every day. It has this line of trees on one side, the branches overhanging nicely.. They've always done so, and I was relishing the thought of the leaves appearing and forming a lovely, delicately green canopy above. Today, as I was walking home, I was met by the sight of a truck a filled with a jumble of gray sticks and several men with chain-saws, brutally grinding away at those lovely branches. I mean, really? Just in time for spring. Those bastards. I nearly got a bit tearful at the moment, and walked the rest of the way home cursing them under my breath.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Return.

Well, it seems I'm back from a week in another world. Ģitāristu Sesija, I will love you 'til the end of days.
It's one of those tumbling, everything-happening-at-the-same-time events from which you emerge a bit dazed, happy, somehow wiser and most definitely sleep-deprived. Also, missing everyone already. Of course. Never really wanted it to end. ..Until next year, then.
(Yeah, this is one of the times I have too much to write, can't sort it all out atm, so I'll just write too little.)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Would'ya look at that.



Also - http://9gag.com/gag/3212157

Also -
Also - http://slatest.slate.com/posts/2012/03/16/kony_2012_jason_russell_invisible_children_co_founder_arrested_in_san_diego_for_public_masturbation_intoxication_.html

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I love living.

Haha, I do, I do, I do. It's fucking great t' be fucking happy. :D D'uh.
Mein gott, someway, somehow, everything is splendid. Except for falling out of favor regarding a couple of friends, but - I'm standing up for myself. Part of the grief I deserved, part  - I didn't. I'm learning to stand up for myself. Not for some accepted belief, or something that others see as impressive, or my lovely, lovely friends, but myself. This time, it's me. (Also without the apology for egoism that often comes with such sentences, I will squirm no more.) I can accomplish. (And use italics at my own leisure.)
Got ma guitar, got my sketch/diary notebook, and blog, my books, ma *gasp* band, new haircut, some sort of decency in people around me, (f'in rare these days), a lovely girlfriend, a tinkling in my ears and an adventure in the future. (Namely, ĢS, but other stuff, too. Anything, really.) Happy.

Regard this Belgian beauty, if you will. Poirot would be proud.

(Selah Sue - summertime bring me joy | SoulKitchen)

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Fuckshit.

Yeah, I've been cussing inwardly for a while now. Sometimes cussing is just so nice. Seriously, it can be really pleasant. google beautiful cuss words Damn.




Love 'em. 

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Fuckin'ell.

I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I AM A HORRIBLE PERSON. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. "Tev ir vienkārši jāiemācās neuztraukties par citiem cilvekiem." Yeah, right. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person.  I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. I am a horrible person. Iamahorriblepersoniamahorriblepersoniamahorribleperson. Yay.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Toy cars, nail polish, and musical harmonies

... and bread crumbs on plastic plates, and unread stories on torn notebook paper by sisters, and pink scratches on rights arms by purring house cats, and unexpected calls to trolling telephones, confusing, or amiable apprehension, COMPLETELY unnecessary stuttering, non-matching blankets, untrustworthy alarms, jumbled reminders and carefully (for the time being) assembled calendars, the beauty of words and the blindness to it, emphasis in one way or another, or more, golden circles, endless tea, colleagues, and the absurd spelling of the word, hasty friendship and evil giggling. Ho-hum.

(Angus & Julia Stone - "You're the one that I want")