Aah. Cretinous people. Innocent people. Clueless, arrogant, sweet, introvert, helpless, selfish, guilty, amazing, blundering people. Everyone around me is in some kind of weird vortex of problems, some more serious, some less, but well - this spring/summer is giving us all a good kick in the balls, or heart, whatever the circumstances call for. We're forced to take on or two steps back and rethink, rediscover, nursing the pain along the way.
I might have complained some time back about different worlds, or different parts of my life merging, as in everybody knowing f'in everybody, which means that the delicate strings holding up the separate kinds of people and places are all tangled up.. It seems, now, that is has come to a point where there is one big reality including almost everything, there are only a few other worlds of mine left, hidden either deep in my mind or in other countries. Of course, new ones are being born and/or introduced every day..
And what do you do - if taking that you, for instance, trust your intuition greatly - if you have an obligation that you're unwilling to fulfill, and are unsure if this unwillingness is your gut telling you it's a bad idea or if you're just being lazy again. There's always the option of waiting until it's too late and then going unprepared or not going at all, disappointing a few people (again), but escaping and working with yourself instead. Or could it be tiny past traumas working their way into your doubts and fears about it all?
And I feel like I'm rambling about the same stuff again and again, on and on, just changing the context and the general feeling of it all. Aah.
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