waiting

I've payed the dues, people
why won't you let me play the blues?
I've been promised, I know how
The dreams were so beautiful, but now
I've  been pushed to the ground
You're sayin' I'm my own hound
You're pressing down my fingers
The need to sing, much more than lingers
Get off, please, it hurts
Why'd you have to answer so curt?
You know I still love you all
Just don't, don't, I don't wanna fall
Fall back to the role of the psychotic girl
Who's talents were mostly to cower and hurt
Pathetic insults at to the laughs passing by
NO MATTER HOW I TRY
I'm still spiraling back, I'm in the past
You make a line, make sure I'm last
Get me out of this hell-hole, teach me to die
I already know how to lie
I already know how to tie
The knot of the noose 'round my neck
You'd think heart was beating, don't care to check
No, it never mattered, no, never
You said it was pleasant to cry in a fever
It is, you're right, but only if you're half sane
Unable to imagine breaking the chain
'cause colours are taboo these days
Sit me down and tell me to raise
My glass to the black face with gray eyes
Haunting my every waking dream, no need to pry
I've already told you all I got
You say I'm right, yeah, I know I'm not
I know I'm not, no, I've been shot
No longer so hot
When you're cold an' pale an' bleeding to death
And no other rhyme is better than 'breath'
Now let me finish and rest in peace
Escaping the stares, the love and the grease
Drippin' off you all, and you still don't notice
Nothing I feel will make you hear or see this
Teach me how to die
'Cause I already know how to lie



So goddamn naive, naive, naive, naive, naive